In the summer of 1961, I was a rookie waitress at Quimby’s Diner, not quite 17, and a soon-to-be high school senior. Do you recall your first job? Were you skillful and confident on day one or a bumbler and fumbler like me?  My story continues.

The uproarious laughter at Quimby’s lunch counter can be heard in the back kitchen where I’m loading lunch plates into the dishwasher. Lil is undoubtedly entertaining her regular customers and she is one great storyteller. Of late, many of her tales revolve around me, whom she calls the “Kid,” and my learning to be a waitress. 

Living with my dad, I should be used to being teased, but the public ribbing, well, that’s a little hard, even coming from Lil. Sometimes even I have to laugh. But not always.

“I told you about the Kid last week — switching the milk cans in the dispenser back here, like boss Anna had taught her. The tube was not set right through the tap so it couldn’t be closed. The milk just kept flowing out!

“I mean, we were slogging through it back here for an hour. What a mess! But let me tell you the latest, what happened on Friday.”

All is quiet now out front; I imagine the listeners gathering close for the next story. Even alone in the back kitchen, I feel my face grow hot and I start to sweat. Ugh, Lil, really, this one, you’ve got to tell this one?

“Well, the lunch rush is over and I’m sitting here on this stool and a gorgeous, I mean, gooood-looking man walks in. He didn’t look like he was from these parts; I’d never seen the likes of him before. Dressed in a starched white shirt, sleeves rolled up just so, sleek navy slacks with a soft brown leather belt, and matching Italian loafers. 

“Damn, I could even smell that nice leather. Not a big man, maybe 5’7” or 5’8”, slender, wavy dark brown hair, and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. I thought for a second it might be Frank, you know, ‘Ol’ Blue Eyes.’ 

If he had broken into song I would have fallen off this here stool, but I wouldn’t have been surprised. He sat right over there, in booth number two, and I don’t know why I did this, but I called on the Kid to wait on him, maybe so I could just sit here and admire his good looks.

“The Kid didn’t seem to notice what I did. She straightened her apron, grabbed up a place setting and water, and walked right over.  ‘Hi, sir, welcome to Quimby’s. What might I get for you this afternoon?’ 

“Ol’ Blue Eyes ordered a cup of black and pie a la mode, vanilla. The Kid asked if he wished his pie warmed. ‘No thanks, Miss.’ Oh, his voice, like syrup it was.

“When I saw the Kid bringing the pie and ice cream to the table, I noticed her rookie mistake right away, and sure enough, that sweet scoop of vanilla rolled right off the plate and onto his lap. No napkin in place, landing right between his legs. The Kid didn’t know what to do. 

“She couldn’t exactly reach for the ice cream, could she?” Laughter erupts from her audience. Lil stops to take a deep breath. She’s enjoying her moment. 

Someone finally asks, “What was the rookie mistake?”  More chime in. “Tell us Lil, tell us!”

“Well, I grabbed a towel from under the counter and rushed to his table, letting him clean up the mess as the Kid was nervously apologizing, her face red as a beet. He started to chuckle a bit and I wanted to laugh with him, but I felt really bad for the Kid. 

“Instead, I got a new piece of pie with the ice cream scooped directly onto the plate. A la mode with ice cream on top of the pie only works if it’s a warm pie. Otherwise, it slides right off!” 

The regulars start to applaud. “How was her tip?” 

“Damn good!” Lil adds, as she calls to me to show my face. The regulars follow her lead and keep applauding as I come out of hiding. Despite my embarrassment, I had to laugh.

“Now that was Friday. Wait till I tell you what happened Sunday,” Lil continues.

Still laughing, one of the regulars says, “Better make it quick, Lil. I got to go back to work.”  The others linger as well. 

Here it comes. Lil might as well get it over with. This one is even more embarrassing than the last, if that’s possible.

“Yesterday, a tour bus stopped here and 14 people gathered at one table in the dining room. They’re in a bit of a hurry and the Kid is the only waitress. Place settings, water, and the ordering begins.”

“‘. . am dinner, please,” as all the others chime in, ‘Same for me,’ with nods all around the table.”

“‘Fourteen ham dinners,’ the Kid tells Big Bud. He asked the Kid if she’s sure about the order. The Kid said, ‘That’s what the first one ordered and they all said they wanted the same.’

“Bud tells me, ‘I just shook my head, so I shouldn’t have been shocked when Nancy came back after delivering those ham dinners, really embarrassed, saying they all wanted clams. Of course, they wanted clams! Damn it, Lil. What’s next with that kid?’”

Stay tuned.